Unrelated but also a gripe – people who get up and grab the back of the seat in front of them. It never fails it happens to me right when I fall asleep.

Yes, I have gotten irritated at a gate agent. The most irritated was when I was flying standby and never heard my name called. The fellow butchered my last name so badly I did not recognize it; I have heard it pronounced a lot of different ways and by foreigners (in German it sounds pretty cool). Nothing came close. Ended up not getting on that flight because of it. Not a huge deal, but still.

Here is one that gets me about the airlines (sorry, but I have to go off on a tangent).

What is it with the stupid rule that you must always fly with your bag? I hear this a lot, yet I have checked my bag, been given a card for standby and not gotten on that flight only to arrive to find my bag waiting for me. It obviously made the earlier flight! Same with taking a “bump”.

Great site, but I just wanted to say something out of the ordinary. I had the chance to meet you one day but I didn’t say Hi. I read all your work and I’m a fan. I forget which day in April it was, but last year in 2008 you visited the UCLA campus to watch spring ball, and you even did a piece on Neuheisal.

Well I happened to be sitting by the bleachers and I see you and I think, “No that couldn’t be Stewart, could it?” You end up sitting and talking next to someone who looks like a fellow reporter for about 30 minutes. I believe it was Bruce Feldman of ESPN. Well long story short, I went to the nearby UCLA Store to buy a copy of your book to maybe have you sign, but when I come back with it, you are gone!

Either way, I read the book cover to cover and I’m glad I got the chance to buy it.

Love the essay. As a frequent flyer myself, there is nothing more annoying then what you mentioned. However, I do have a fault with your second 2-Point violation. Airports have different security levels that drive me crazy. My belt is fine for 9 of 10 airports but there is one where it will go off. Is that my fault when the previous 9 times it was fine?

One lady looked at me in amazement, as if I was Dr. Spock, when I began to read a business story to her cantankerous son. He nodded off after a couple of minutes. He might have needed a nap and some gentle coaxing or the piece on a U. S. steel company’s efforts to compete with Indian competitors was that boring.

I personally will check whatever bag I think has even the slightest chance of fitting in the overhead compartment because when it doesn’t, the attendent just stowes it in the front/back of the plane and you get it later…better chancing that than the above scenario which is inevitable.

No offense but its not difficult. I give some leeway to people who hop on planes maybe once a year but everyone else? You know the rules, and they aren’t ever-changing.

No fluids, thats been in effect for a couple years now. Only pack travel size toothpaste, shaving cream etc. and pack them in a kitchen baggie. If you’re carrying them on, have the baggie ready as you put your stuff in the plastic trays.

Don’t have anything in your pockets other than your wallet and boarding pass. Right before security I toss my phone in a baggie with other electronics and suspicious items (see below). I can get it back the moment it gets through the x-ray and I don’t flag the walk-through machine in the meantime slowing everyone down behind me.

anything metal or that might get looked at (read: anything that doesn’t look like clothing) pack together in one place in your bag for easy inspection, be it carry-on or checked baggage. I take the extra step of putting all my chargers, phones, loose metal items like change etc. in a large baggie then putting it on the tray so they don’t have to second guess, its right there in one place in front of them and my regular luggage goes through unscathed every time. Afterwards I can immediately put all that back into my luggage with no real loss of time.

Shoes and laptops go in the trays at security. Ladies don’t wear heels/men and women don’t wear sandals, your feet are going to be walking on gross airport carpet, travel in gym shoes and socks and be ready to take your shoes off for security. You’ll get them right back after they’ve gone through the x-ray machine and you’ve quickly passed through the walk-through machine.

If I don’t have to I don’t wear a belt when traveling, but if I do I pack it with my carry-on stuff and can put it on in an airport bathroom afterwards.

90% of the time I don’t check any baggage. Security is almost always a breeze by realizing what security will flag (basically assume anything that isn’t clothing), and have that ready to put on a tray separately. I carry a backback as well for my papers, laptop and the baggies of electronics and toiletries/liquids so I can take them immediately out of the bag and put onto the security trays. After those go on, I add my shoes, backpack and main luggage bag.

Simple. Only unprepared travelers make it complicated.